This March I’ll be celebrating my 64th birthday.
I’m comfortable with aging. I’m healthy, fit, and confident, no major complaints although it ‘d be good if someone handed me a big check!
There are a few things about aging that I find annoying. Fine lines and wrinkles, and a jawline less defined, the remnants of aches from years of skiing, biking, hiking and climbing mountains with the occasional crash landing.
The outdoors has always been my gym, but these days I live more thoughtful of my body, reminding myself I have probably taken my lifetime quota of falls. I now run and do yoga/mat pilates, sometimes ride my bicycle, other than the seemingly unconscious behind steering wheels, they seem pretty harmless activities.
And then there is the reprising of memories mostly in my head of the wonderful, the sad and the unmentionable.
Nonetheless, I have so far lived a very blessed and full life that I’m extremely grateful. There is also something profoundly liberating about aging: an attitude hard earned. What once seemed important, I now hear my soul say to all things and people not worth mentioning; I’m too old for this, and I happily go about my day. There was a time when exasperations would knock me off my perch.
As I approach mid-60, I feel 30.
As a teenager and young woman, there was not a body part or feature that spared judgment. I still want thicker hair and thinner ankles, but one thing I’ve learned with age about beauty is that no one cares.
Somethings stay the same. In the depths of heartbreak, nothing feels right. I think I feel the loss more so now than ever before.
Family and friends, we love each other even more as we watch each other age.
Appreciation. I do appreciate my ankles and hair.
What torture we girls inflict upon ourselves.
In the past two years and three months I have moved twice. From NY to FL and from apt 104 to 208 in the same building. It was easier to move from NY to FL then it was to move one floor up.
Before moving to NY, my mother passed away, and I spent months cleaning out our family home of 60 years. My father never threw anything out because it was “still good.” My mother, on the other hand, put things away because “someday you may need it.” The challenge was finding it when it was necessary.
There was a book case in the den filled with photo albums and boxes of photos buried away in closets. I spent days sitting on the floor looking at photos that told the stories of time past.
There I was as an infant, first grade, graduations, my travels. After all those years spent in despair about my looks, I was now looking for someone who didn’t look so bad! Perhaps when I’m 80 and look at pictures of myself at 60 I will notice the same older, but a still beautiful woman.
The smiles, radiant youth, eyes that twinkle all reminded me of my nieces, so young and glowing, but doing the same thing, all girls do -angst over a spot on their skin or their hair.
I’m happy to have the body I have, it’s healthy and fit and gets me where I want to go. I no longer have a need for five and a half inch stilettos. Three inches is fine. Flats are better.
With age comes wisdom. I accept I can only control what goes on inside me; I can’t monitor the world around me. Faith and trust sustain my soul and hope.
My health was saved when I discovered the keys to healthy living and the importance of maintaining healthy hormones balances without HRT in any form.
Today, I continue my pursuit of maintaining my health and hormones and feminine self with herbs, food, exercise and mindfulness.
My quest continues to transform the hormone health of women with safe, natural means one at a time –beginning with you! If every woman just kept her eyes on the ball and followed through each swing, together we would all be healthier, happier and more resilient.
When I was getting divorced my mother gave me a card with the poem The Art of Adventure by Wilfred Peterson. I still have it. It’s about creating the life you envision and never allowing your dreams to die.
The philology applies to life, health, career and family ties.
Someone said by the time you are middle age; you have started over, and over again. It doesn’t matter if it is new health goals or career changes or relationships ups and downs. Resilience is the key to doing that.
One of the finer parts of aging are the relationships that ebb and flow through the years. Women bond with other women in unexpected ways. I’m so fortunate to have known a select few; we have been each other’s friend, buddy, pal and cohort in crime when needed. My two best girlfriend lost their lives to breast cancer, too soon, too young.
I’m not too old for desire or to love again; I never know who will enter into my life or when. It’s much easier to navigate anticipation and disappointment when you’ve had some experience.
I’ll take a pass on unconsciousness, self-absorption, rudeness and bad manners. I rather cozy up with a good book. I just can’t see the sense in squandering valuable time.
That’s my old soul speaking her mind.
I believe with each year comes opportunity. My new mantra is hopefully a goodbye to all that may be holding me back.
To health and beauty,
Beautiful Women by Erma Bombeck
Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a Queen.
Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.
Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister (Mum I can’t go to school looking like this!)
Age 20: She looks at herself and sees “too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly”- but decides she’s going out anyway.
Age 30: She looks at herself and sees “too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly” – but decides she doesn’t have time to fix it, so she’s going out anyway.
Age 40: She looks at herself and sees “clean” and goes out anyway.
Age 50: She looks at herself and sees “I am” and goes wherever she wants to go.
Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can’t even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world.
Age 70: She looks at herself & sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life.
Age 80: Doesn’t bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world.